I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
