i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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