Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

that was a gay-test. you passed.

(1-562): View more from California

with flying rainbow colors i hope!

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(850): View more from Florida

I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(

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(503): View more from Oregon

why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know but we should still do that

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Jesus...So southern.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.

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(661): View more from California

I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.

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(209): View more from California

apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside

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(913): View more from Kansas

Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.

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