i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
