Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
