she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
