Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
