I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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