puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
