holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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