Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
