is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize