Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
