And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
