so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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