Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
