who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
