I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
