I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
