i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
