how can u be prego again
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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