apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
