I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
