big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
