Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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