yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
