I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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