I think I am morally bankrupt
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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