Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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