New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
