Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
