i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
