I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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