I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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