Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
