hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
