why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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