Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
