Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
