i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
