I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
