There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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