In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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