I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
