i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Alive.
So much puke
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
