I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
