We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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