You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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