He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I need to calm my uterus...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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