...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
