he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
