Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
