No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
