i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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