Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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